It was a busy Friday afternoon when Lil’ Johnny’s mother took him to the bank. The line was long, and right in front of them stood a rather large woman in a business suit, complete with a pager clipped to her belt.
As they waited, Johnny stared at her for a few seconds before blurting out loud enough for the entire line to hear,
“Hey, Mom… she’s REALLY fat!”
The woman turned around, gave a polite smile to Johnny’s mom, who instantly shushed her son, whispering harshly,
“Johnny, that’s not nice! You don’t say things like that.”
Johnny went quiet—for about ten seconds. Then, stretching his little arms out as wide as he could, he added,
“I bet her butt is THIS wide!”
The woman shot him a glare that could melt steel. His mother’s face turned red as she leaned down and hissed,
“Johnny, if you say ONE more thing, we’re going straight home, do you hear me?”
Johnny nodded. The line moved slowly. The silence was unbearable. But Lil’ Johnny couldn’t help himself. After a minute, he whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear,
“Look how the fat hangs over her belt…”
This time, the woman spun around, furious. “You need to control your rude child!” she snapped at his mother. Everyone in line froze. Johnny’s mother was mortified. She grabbed him by the shoulders and said through gritted teeth,
“That’s it, Johnny. You say one more word, and I swear—”
But before she could finish, the woman’s pager suddenly went off — a loud, beeping sound echoing through the bank.
Johnny’s eyes went wide as saucers. He jumped back, pointing straight at her and screamed,
“LOOK OUT, MOM! SHE’S BACKING UP!!”
The entire bank erupted in laughter. Even the tellers couldn’t keep a straight face.
As for Johnny’s mother? She didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or disappear into the floor.
And the woman? Let’s just say she learned never to stand in front of Lil’ Johnny again.
