Mildred, the local gossip and self appointed keeper of the church’s morals, kept poking her nose into other people’s business.
Several members of the church did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but kept to themselves in fear of reprisal. She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Sam, of being an alcoholic after seeing his old pickup parked outside the town’s only pub one afternoon.
She emphatically told Sam and several others of the congregation that by seeing his car there, everyone would know exactly what he was doing. Sam, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment then just turned and walked away.
He didn’t explain, defend or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Sam quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house…and left it there all night.
In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.”
The congregation used to respond by saying, “And with thy spirit.”
But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now says, “The Lord be with you,” and everyone responds with, “And also with you.”
One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable.
As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times and finally said, “There’s something wrong with this!”
Without hesitation, the whole congregation answered faithfully, “And also with you.”
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, “Yes, ma’am, he did. My dad said that he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.”
